Detailed in Connie Lynne’s newest book, Failure Revealed
The Process of Change: Learning Through Failure
“There is no perfect world, as most of us are well aware.”
My Early Years…
My difficulties started early, and so did my feelings of failure. What began as childhood struggles with basics like breathing, walking and talking—compounded by shyness, a speech impediment and undiagnosed challenges—left me feeling perpetually behind.
My childhood thoughts spiralled:
If they were better than me, I must be worse than them.
If I was worse than them, they must be worth more than me…
If they were worth more than me, I must be…worthless.
“The child who didn’t yet know her worth”
The weights grew heavier as my young mother, trapped in her own cycle of dysfunction, parented as she’d been parented. I didn’t know this wasn’t love. I just knew I kept failing—at school, at home, at being someone who mattered.
The Turning Point
Life doesn’t come with a roadmap. Mine certainly didn’t. For years, every “failure” confirmed my deepest fear: You are broken beyond repair. But here’s the truth I couldn’t see then—
Failure wasn’t my downfall; it was my ignorance.
I didn’t know the rules were rigged against me. Didn’t know abuse wasn’t normal. Didn’t know I could rewrite the story. But ignorance, like darkness, can’t survive the light.
Every setback taught me resilience. Every moment of pain forced me to dig deeper. And every time I stumbled, I discovered a strength I didn’t know I had. The child who couldn’t speak up became the woman who refused to stay silent. The girl who believed she was worthless learned her value wasn’t determined by others but by her courage to rise again.
“The freedom I fought for”
Healing From Childhood Trauma: What I Learned
1. Your Trauma Doesn’t Own You
For years, I believed my childhood trauma defined my worth. Healing began when I realized: “What happened to me” and “who I am” are separate stories. The shame belonged to my abusers, not me.
2. Small Rebellions Build Strength
I started with tiny acts of defiance – a whispered “no,” setting one boundary. Healing from childhood trauma isn’t about giant leaps; it’s the daily choice to reclaim your voice, even when it shakes.
3. The Body Remembers (And Can Recover)
Trauma lives in our cells. For me, healing involved:
- Yoga to release stored pain
- Writing to process memories
- Learning to breathe through panic attacks
“Healing from childhood trauma isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s uncovering who you were before the world told you to be small.”
4. Your Pain Becomes Your Purpose
That rope-swinging photo? It captures the joy of healing – not because the pain vanished, but because I learned to carry it differently. Now I help others do the same.
If you’re reading this and seeing your struggles reflected in my words, know this: Your failures do not define you. They prepare you. The darkest moments often lead to the brightest breakthroughs.
You are not alone. And you are far from finished.